My One Act:

We’re Going To Candy Mountain, Frankie!

By Kaylyn Christensen

Setting: In a magical land with liopleurodons, bridges, and Candy Mountain.

Plot: Frankie and his friends go on an adventure to Candy Mountain for reasons that are never made clear. Along the way they run into Charlie, a unicorn, and his two chatty friends. They then must journey to Candy Mountain together until they meet Frankie’s arch nemesis, Snatcher the raccoon.

Cast of characters:

Frankie the Finder (pink shirt and shorts): Equivalent of Dora the Explorer. A boy that enjoys going on adventures with his best friend who is a slot named Shoes. Teaches children sign language [versus Spanish].

Shoes (colorful shoes): Equivalent of Boots the monkey. A sleepy sloth that speaks slowly loves to go on adventures with his human best friend, Frankie.

Satchel (all purple): Equivalent of Backpack. Frankie's backpack-y buddy who goes along on adventures with him and Shoes by Frankie giving him/her a piggy back ride.

GPS: Equivalent of the Map. GPS is a GPS who is kind enough to provide directions to Candy Mountain for Frankie and Shoes.

Magical Liopleurodon: Dinosaur who rawrs directions to Candy Mountain to Frankie and his Friends.

Charlie the Unicorn (wears white): Pessimistic unicorn who meets Frankie and his friends at Candy Mountain.

Purple unicorn: One of Charlie's obnoxious unicorn "friends" who persuades him to go to Candy Mountain.

Pink Unicorn: Charlie's other obnoxious unicorn "friend" who goes to Candy Mountain with them.

Snatcher (bandit mask, all black): Equivalent of Swiper. A sneaky raccoon who likes to fight with light sabers and snatch kidneys.

Character Scenes:

Scene 1 – Opening: Frankie, Shoes, Satchel, GPS

Scene 2 – Magical Liopleurodon: Frankie, Shoes, Satchel, Liopleurodon

Scene 3 – We’re on a Bridge: Frankie, Shoes, Satchel

Scene 4 – Candy Mountain!: Frankie, Shoes, Satchel, Pink, Purple, Charlie, Snatcher

Act 1

Scene 1 - Opening

[Begin with lights up]

[Scene starts with the Dora the Explorer theme song,

Frankie, Shoes, and Satchel, enter stage right,

move to center stage,

Frankie is giving Satchel a piggy back ride.

Shoes comes in simply walking, but dancing around with Frankie.

Dance until song is over.]

Frankie: [says to audience] Hi, friends! My name is Frankie the Finder, and this is my best friend, Shoes! He’s a sloth that likes to wear shoes! [Shoes gestures to his shoes]

Shoes: I sure do [yawning]

Frankie: [still to audience] The sound of my voice becomes obnoxious to anyone who is over the age of five, but that’s alright, because I teach your children sign language! Like this means butterfly! [signs butterfly, which looks like the Napoleon Dynamite thing] You’re child will never use it, but they’ll never use algebra either! [gives thumbs up to audience] So, today we’re going to Candy Mountain!

Shoes: [slowly and languidly] We sure are. But, Frankie, [suddenly becomes sad] we don’t know how to get to Candy Mountain.

Frankie: Yes, Shoes, but this is when it becomes extremely convenient that I always carry my … [turns around dramatically] Satchel!! [Satchel jumps down]

Satchel: Hi! I’m Satchel! I carry vital objects as well as miscellaneous knickknacks and thing-a-majigies! We need to find GPS so that Frankie and Shoes can find their way to Candy Mountain! [Frankie nods enthusiastically, Shoes nods sleepily] Say GPS! Say GPS!

Shoes and Frankie: GPS! GPS! [GPS runs onstage from stage right, Frankie, Satchel and Shoes listen to him/her intently]

GPS: [singing] I’m GPS, GPS, GPS, GPS, I’m GPS!! [no longer singing] Frankie and Shoes need to get to Candy Mountain for reasons that are never made clear. I know how to get to Candy Mountain. To get to Candy Mountain first you go past the magical liopleurodon, then you go over the bridge! And that’s how you’ll get to Candy Mountain! So remember, liopleurodon, bridge, Candy Mountain! [runs off stage left] [Satchel jumps back on Frankie’s back, and remains there for the rest of the play]

Shoes: [to Frankie] Liopleurodon, bridge, Candy Mountain! We better get going. [exits stage left with Frankie, Shoes last to leave although first to start leaving]

[Lights go dim]

Scene 2 – Magical Liopleurodon

[Lights back up]

[Frankie and Shoes enter from stage right]

Shoes, Satchel, and Frankie [simultaneously]: lalala laa lalala la la [like in Charlie the Unicorn, all stop abruptly]

Satchel: Whoa! What’s that! [points to liopleurodon stage left]

Frankie: It’s a liopleurodon, Satchel!

Shoes: A magical liopleurodon.

Frankie: It’s gonna guide our way to Candy Mountain!

Magical Liopleurodon: [rawrs and gurgles ominously]

Satchel: The liopleurodon has spoken! He has told us the way! [liopleurodon exits stage left]

Frankie: We got past the liopleurodon, where do we go now?

Frankie, Satchel and Shoes: Over the bridge! [march off stage left]

[lights dim]

Scene 3 – We’re on a Bridge

[lights up]

[enter Frankie and friends stage right]

Shoes: Hey, this is the bridge. I have never seen one up close, but this is the bridge.

Satchel: It’s just over this bridge, Frankie!

Shoes: This magical bridge, of hope and wonder!

Frankie: Let’s count the steps we take on this bridge in sign language! But remember to go slow so that all the children at home watching lose concentration between each number from their 5 second attention spans! [holds up sign language numbers while all taking a step at the same time stage left] One… two… three… four… five… [get to center stage] [Shoes yawns and lays down asleep in middle of stage]

Satchel: [incessantly while Frankie continues to nine, making it almost across the stage] Frankie, Frankie… Frankie!

Frankie: six… seven… eight… nine! [turning head impatiently] What! [wakes up Shoes]

Satchel: We were on a bridge, Frankie!

[walk off stage left as lights dim]

Scene 4 – Candy Mountain!

[lights up]

[Charlie, Purple and Pink already on stage]

[Frankie and friends walk on stage right]

Frankie: We’re here!

Purple: Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain! Fill me with sweet sugary goodness!

Frankie: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who are you? And what are you doing at Candy Mountain?

Charlie: That’s what I’ve been wondering for three episodes!

[Purple and Pink exchange glances]

[Snatcher enters stage left, sneaks around while others are conversing]

Pink: We don’t really have names..

Purple: We’re the irony and comic relief!

Pink: Yeah! And we found a map, to Candy Mountain!

Purple: Yeah!

Pink: Yeah..

Frankie: [shrugs] Okay. [sees Snatcher, gasps] It’s Snatcher the snatch-y raccoon!

Purple: Go inside the cave, Charlie!

Pink: Yeah, Charlie!

Frankie: Guys! It’s Snatcher! We have to say Snatcher, no snatching three times or else he will unstealthily snatch our unsecured items of personal belonging!

[Pink and Purple not paying attention, still trying to get Charlie to go into the cave]

Frankie: [above Pink and Purple] Snatcher no snatching! Snatcher no snatching!

[Snatcher pulls our light saber, massive chaos while Snatcher slaughters them all, runs off stage right]

Frankie: [after a pause, sits up drowsily, his speaking makes the others stir] He snatched our freaking kidneys!

[lights dim]

The end!